Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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