I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize