are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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