So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
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That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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