Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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