we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
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He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
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my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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