What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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