I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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