I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
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I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
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Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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