We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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