Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
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It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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