I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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