yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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