wat bout pragnant strippers??
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize