you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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