Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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