Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i believe in u and ur pee
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize