i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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