Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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