Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
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I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
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Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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