Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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