I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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