i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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