There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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