My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize