I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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