3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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