Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize