i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
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My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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