I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
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it glows. i had to have it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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