I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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