90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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