I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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