guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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