he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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