I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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