I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
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June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
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Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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