Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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