you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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