my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pants are for mortals
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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