If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The struggles of a small town man whore
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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