i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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