I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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