Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize