You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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