I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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