new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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