I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize