i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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