just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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